Resistance running

Not many posts over the past 10 days. I'm struggling... I'm still running 4 times a weeks but it feels like hard work. I'm having to argue with myself on my 'running' days. Head comes up with any number of lines, here's my top 3 'you can't run today because you are...' lines:

1) too tired;
2) too busy;
3) so gorgeous already, that you don't need to.

So my schizo brain has been going back and forth - should I, shouldn't I...But I haven't let myself fall into this trap: yet. My running has been fine, but my attitude stinks.

For me (as a non-adept runner and someone who has avoided exercise my whole life), what I 'say' to myself as I'm running is everything. For while my brain stops thinking about my 'issues', it does rather focus itself on my running. My running brain goes along the lines of:

Lap 1: "hooray I'm running; what a thoroughly fit and modern middle-aged woman I am":
Lap 2; "help, my lungs are going to explode";
Laps 3-5: "I knew if I got past the initial pain, I would find my stride, look at me go now";
Laps 5-15: "wind feels good on my face, sun feels great, I love my ipod";
Laps 15-20: "I can't run anymore, my legs ache, I'm tired and surely at my age 15 laps is good enough?"
Laps 20-25: "Yeah! You kept going. You are a modern day goddess who can conquer the world and seduce kings (if you had ever met one)."

These to me are the 6 stages of running and probably sufficient proof that I am not a natural. I have gone through these stages since my first week of walking 4 'laps' on the treadmill and I've managed to spread them over ever further distances.

I might have met my limit.